Sam was named after a dog, a fact that her mother disputes to this day. After a 2006 bout of yodelling collapsed her lungs and caused a blood vessel to burst behind her eye, she received a CAT scan, which yielded to the discovery that she didn’t actually have a brain and in place of it were fluids and the remnants of her absorbed twin. Despite her doctor’s recommendations, she continues to function within society to this day.
Invermere
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- Black Bean Blues -
I find myself sitting, woe and behold! With a cup of bland coffee that tastes just like toes Stirring and stirring this insipid sludge Water to bean ratio has been gravely misjudged The pungent aroma arising so big Brings back memories of grandfathers gross wig O! How I miss the days when I drank cappuccinos Elegantly served by that exotic Latino Damn you, François! With your suaveishly ways For getting me hooked on delicious latte’s! Frothed, creamy goodness with caramel delight Whipped cream and sprinkles, my senses ignite The first sip would scorch at the back of my throat But… Read Full Story »
- Suezilla! The Brute Fiend -
January 19th, 2007: Suezilla returned to the room carrying a large sack and handed it over to him. “Here you go – ten kilograms of Oyci Oranges,†she said. “Thank you,†Robbie said as politely as he could through the sudden well-up of saliva in his mouth. When he got these things on his salad… “And don’t go eating too many, or you’ll end up with a head as big as mine,†she said and Robbie froze in fear, suddenly thinking that he was not forgiven and she really was going to rip his head off after all. The silence… Read Full Story »
- O'Mally's Restaurant for the Generally Malaised -
There really is never any good reviews for O'Mally's Restaurant for the Generally Malasied, and this review is no exception. There is just something about the place that makes you feel uneasy; something that makes you want to get out of there as fast as possible. If you can suppress the urge to flee the premises as soon as you step foot inside and make your way towards the booths, you will find yourself with the sudden, almost irresistible urge to scream. No one knows why. The seats themselves are set at a 75 degree angle, so that you're forced… Read Full Story »