n/a
You are standing at the edge of a very steep drop. Peering over, you see a tiny stream trickling through the valley beneath you. You look around; perfect, no one is here to stop you to give you a second thought. You listen curiously to hear any sign of footsteps, but the only thing you hear is the cold wind whistling through your ears. You run your fingers through your hair recounting the events that got you to this place. This horrid, dark place, where roses are bred to prick you, where razors are only sold to cut you, where laughter isn’t the sign of happiness but the sign of someone’s misery, your misery. You close your eyes and rock back and forth, tears carving frozen trails on your pale face. You take your last breath and plunge into the valley in front of you. You feel the wind rush through your veins, your hair lashing out at the air above you. You sneak a peek, but as soon as you open your eyes you knew instantly that you shouldn’t have jumped. Your heart starts racing faster and faster, as you see the ground come closer and closer and you lose all feeling in your legs. Your stomach aches, you feel weightless, hopeless and useless. You clutch your knees tight and hold yourself- you are scared, scared of what was and scared of what might be. You feel sick and hurt as you come to realise that not everyone hates you, that there was someone in your life who didn’t hate you for whom you were and looked you in the eyes when everyone else turned their backs and now you have left her… your friend, your only friend, your best friend. The thoughts of what you were missing lingered in the air as your body took the full force of the ground. Your bones crunch as they break and you lie in the grass that smashed your body, you look straight up at the sky; you see clouds, stars and the moon. You always loved the full moon. The full moon eliminated the darkness, the same kind of darkness you saw when your father smothered you with a pillow, the same kind of darkness you saw when your brothers left you alone in the woods, the same kind of darkness you saw when your sister turned her back on you when you were pushed over in the mud. But through all of this darkness you saw light. It was the same light you saw when your mum tackled your dad, the same light you saw when your mum found you in the woods and held you close to keep you warm, the same light you saw when she helped you out of the mud and placed her jacket round you to keep you warm. Where was she this time? Why is she not here to light up this bad time, to take you in and keep you warm and happy just like she used to? Now you have left her. You’ve left her alone because you were too impatient to wait for life to get better, too cowardly to stand up for yourself. So as you lie in the grass, staring at the full moon because you can’t close your eyes, because you can’t move, because you can’t breathe… you hear a faint scream in the distance. But it’s too late- you’re gone. Dead. Deceased. Passed on. Alone at last.


