Scratch Online

You think that you have readied yourself
for what lay ahead.
You have it in your mind
that you can stay strong.
You have a picture in your brain
of what it’s going to be like
but then you discover
you could have never been more wrong.
It’s not even the initial sight
no,
it’s the realization
a few moments after
that gets you
that punches you in the chest
with a led fist
sinks its sharp nails deep into your temples
and won’t let up
screams “SURPRISE!
This
is
real.”
I remember thinking to myself
asking myself:
How is it that
a body so lifeless
can look and feel
so alive?
Dead flesh doesn’t bruise
inactive brains
don’t bleed
unresponsive eyes
don’t roll under closed lids
Something dead
shouldn’t feel so alive.