look,toxicity,feelings,intimidating,love
I’ve felt the feelings
that cause the look
the one you make when
you want to tell someone important
maybe even a little intimidating
something
something bigger than your mouth can hold
something bigger than your mind can grasp
something that is toxic
if you keep it in you any longer
if you keep it waiting
behind clenched teeth
tight as prison bars
any more
but beautiful and exciting
if you let it out
if you let it free into our world
to be heard by the person
meant to hear it
let it free
to take you where it may
to people
and places
and beautiful things
if you let it go
and simply wait
to see what happens.
Something terrifying
because you have no idea
how the innocent individual
patiently waiting for your next words
will respond
the unknown
staring you right in the face
waiting to hear it
you staring back
trying to say it
but so much prevents it from entering
our world;
the ‘what ifs’
So many ‘what ifs’
picking your mind apart
reviewing every previous decision
every memory
every feeling
every thought.
Your heart beating so fast
and so loud
you swear the person that matters most
right then
can hear it
which makes your heart beat even faster
and then the moment comes
I know this moment
all to well
so I recognize it
when I see it staring right at me.
The moment when the whole world stops
all sound is paused
all surroundings disappear
heart at a standstill
stomach in your throat
forcing all the toxicity
out.